There will be a fatal incident soon and it will be all YOUR fault!

Yes you! Yes you!

  • You who cannot commute properly.
  • You who twalk – the art of texting while walking down the street.
  • You who ride a bloody Brompton bike where you shouldn’t
  • You who walk down thee street watching a movie on your iPad
  • You who listen to crap music from silly oversized headphones that make you look like a prat!

You basically think you are more important than everyone else around you.

Yes you will be the cause of a fatality soon.

Why do I have to write this?

I don’t normally bang on about the fact that I am disabled but some things have got to come to a head. The amount of hassle that commuting has become because some people do not have a clue is amazing. I choose to crack on with my life and my work and make the best of it. I shouldn’t have to put up with crap like this!

Recent incidents Include:

A Brompton bike rider knocking me over with his bloody bike on the train. I took a fall.

A Brompton bike rider nearly knocking me over whilst he was riding down the platform at Victoria.

2 incidents where I have been pushed over by stupid impatient people who wont look where they are going.

The stand out classic personally was the impatient blonde bint who nearly pushed me under a train at Victoria Station. Judging by the back pack you were wearing you work for PWC. I cant tell you how much I shat myself when I hit the side of that train. I was lucky to recover it and it left me very shaken. The fear of staring into that gap between the train and the platform is one I have no desire to repeat.

Its not just me that this happens to. Its other disabled people, parents with young children and pregnant women. Indeed I saw a pregnant women pushed over on the tube the other day by some inconsiderate twat.

But the final one goes to the young Asian chap with oversized headphones in Wimbledon who nearly got run over by an ambulance on blues and twos which was clearly taking an emergency to St Georges Hospital. Sorry pal, why should an ambulance on a life saving run have to brake for you because you cannot cross a road properly?

So before there is a fatality that is YOUR fault. Learn how to commute properly.

October’s Commuting Rant

I thought I would get this one in early! Some of you will know that I have ranted about commuting into London recently and especially about the behaviour of certain individuals or groups. Well here goes this months installment! Brompton bike riders. You lot are so beginning to really take the mickey that you have gained a reputation in my eyes akin the that of a BMW driver!. Firstly please don’t be so precious about your stupid bike we all do not need to make a space around you. You are actually supposed to put said bike on the overhead luggage rack anyway. Secondly half unfolding your bike whilst either the train is still moving or on a platform seriously annoys your fellow commuters. You are supposed to unfold your bike outside the station. Worse still are those Muppets who ride down the platform at Victoria Station at * in the morning 🙁 Next up. Ticket Gates. To one side of each set of ticket barriers at any station is a wide angled gate for those of us who are disabled or have heavy luggage or pushchairs with us. It is not for idiots who think they are too good to use a normal ticket barrier. Please stop doing it. You look like a complete twat when you do it as well. Now lets talk about passing the time on the actual journey? Reading a newspaper – thats cool. Reading a good book is fine too. Sipping a latte while you are at it – excellent.. I do it too! Reading reports marked confidential and making sure the whole train carriage can see makes you look like an idiot especially to the bloke on Thursday who was reading a Ministry of Defence, highly classified document on the 08:20 to Waterloo! Lets be clear this document was so sensitive it should not have left the office. I am surprised one of my fellow commuters didn’t take a picture and get the Daily Mail to report it! To be fair it is not the first time I have seen classified government papers being read on a train. This months special mention however must go to the plonker who was talking so loudly about Microsoft System Center on his mobile phone one morning and telling his contacts on the other end of the telephone what do do. He also kept looking around to try and work out why someone was pissing themselves laughing from Raynes Park to Clapham Junction. Well mate here it is especially for you, whoever you are: Firstly Microsoft System Center was my old shop for many years until I left IT. I had some good times consulting on the international circuit around this product set. Secondly you were talking absolute bollocks and trying to get a junior to go through an operation which only you alone should have done from a desk of some description with full control of your environment. You also gave wrong information about a certain part of the product set to your colleague and gave him a password which I assume was for a certain service account. Naughty. Naughty Naughty! I hope your boss sees this and sacks you! Thats the commuting rant over for this month!