Some of you may remember me from way back. My name is Swiss and some of you will remember my alleged demise after being captured by the plod at Malaga Airport. They are bastards them Spanish police, but you can’t keep a good knife down. I may have changed colour but because of some clever planning I made it back into the UK under the cover of a sombrero and a bottle of sangria the other night! Has much changed? Nah! Memory stick and SD card are still in their rightful place in the bag and Court is still as ugly as ever! I have warned him though that the sharp blade will stab him somewhere painful if he ever tries to smuggle me inadvertently or not through airport security ever again. It does say a few things though UK Airport security is useless and the Spanish plod are better at airport security than the English plod. More piccys of me back on hallowed English turf will follow soon. Lots of love Swissy
Some of you may have enjoyed the Introducing “Swiss” blog below detailing Swiss’ adventures with airport security. Unfortunately Swiss was captured by the plod at Malaga Airport last night and thus tales of his adventures will be no more. Swiss has had an important contribution to make not only to my mobile office but to highlighting how crap airport security is at British Airports especially Heathrow and Gatwick. So Swiss’s demise asks an important question. If a knife can get through twice in 12 months, what else is getting through security that shouldn’t be there? Secondly what are airport security staff doing all day long because they are not by the looks of it doing their jobs properly!
Right you lot my name is Swiss or Mr Swiss Army-Knife and I live in the bag that serves as Court’s mobile office with my mates SD Card and Memory-Stick. Here is a piccy of me outside my gaff. And here is a piccy of me chilling with my homies: Why am I sharing all this with you? Well my mates get to go to exotic places on aeroplanes all the time such as Glasgow, Aberdeen and Frankfurt but I don’t because of security reasons. getting me through Airport security is almost impossible, well I say almost, so for that reason the best I can hope for is a trip to Skegness, or is it? For those of those of you that don’t know Court used to fly a lot and still travels a lot, he seems permanantly attached to his mobile office and his Samsonite cabin bag. Anyway he is also forgetful and last year left me in the bag for a trip to Luxembourg. Yes I made it through security at Heathrow Terminal 5. I still don’t know how I managed it. Anyway Court was doing some work on a top security site that mean’t he had to go through airport style security to get to his desk. This security is run by G4S, you know the guys that cocked up security at the London Olympics. Well the found me and Court was oblivious! He was also scared to take me back through security at Luxembourg Airport for fear of losing me. Bless his cotton socks! So I spent a few weeks living in a desk whilst arrangements were made for me to travel back to London in a car with one of Courts mad man mates. Rumour, legend and folklore has it that when this guy is drunk he drives in a straight line and obeys speed limits on this trip he was sober! That was last year.This week Court was forgetful again and I got taken on a trip to Gatwick Airport. Rumour, legend and folklore has it that Court owns Gatwick Airport. Let me assure you that this is utter bollocks and he just struts about like he owns the place! Any way I was bricking it when I got shoved through security but yes I made it. That’s two trips through airport security unscathed. What are these security boys playing at? I amazed I am I thought security was tight at airports? How did I manage it? Anyway enough for now more on my adventures soon. Lots of love Swiss