October’s Commuting Rant

I thought I would get this one in early! Some of you will know that I have ranted about commuting into London recently and especially about the behaviour of certain individuals or groups. Well here goes this months installment! Brompton bike riders. You lot are so beginning to really take the mickey that you have gained a reputation in my eyes akin the that of a BMW driver!. Firstly please don’t be so precious about your stupid bike we all do not need to make a space around you. You are actually supposed to put said bike on the overhead luggage rack anyway. Secondly half unfolding your bike whilst either the train is still moving or on a platform seriously annoys your fellow commuters. You are supposed to unfold your bike outside the station. Worse still are those Muppets who ride down the platform at Victoria Station at * in the morning 🙁 Next up. Ticket Gates. To one side of each set of ticket barriers at any station is a wide angled gate for those of us who are disabled or have heavy luggage or pushchairs with us. It is not for idiots who think they are too good to use a normal ticket barrier. Please stop doing it. You look like a complete twat when you do it as well. Now lets talk about passing the time on the actual journey? Reading a newspaper – thats cool. Reading a good book is fine too. Sipping a latte while you are at it – excellent.. I do it too! Reading reports marked confidential and making sure the whole train carriage can see makes you look like an idiot especially to the bloke on Thursday who was reading a Ministry of Defence, highly classified document on the 08:20 to Waterloo! Lets be clear this document was so sensitive it should not have left the office. I am surprised one of my fellow commuters didn’t take a picture and get the Daily Mail to report it! To be fair it is not the first time I have seen classified government papers being read on a train. This months special mention however must go to the plonker who was talking so loudly about Microsoft System Center on his mobile phone one morning and telling his contacts on the other end of the telephone what do do. He also kept looking around to try and work out why someone was pissing themselves laughing from Raynes Park to Clapham Junction. Well mate here it is especially for you, whoever you are: Firstly Microsoft System Center was my old shop for many years until I left IT. I had some good times consulting on the international circuit around this product set. Secondly you were talking absolute bollocks and trying to get a junior to go through an operation which only you alone should have done from a desk of some description with full control of your environment. You also gave wrong information about a certain part of the product set to your colleague and gave him a password which I assume was for a certain service account. Naughty. Naughty Naughty! I hope your boss sees this and sacks you! Thats the commuting rant over for this month!

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